Tips to Kickstart Your Memoir Writing Journey

Writing a memoir can be an amazing way to capture your life's journey, reflect on meaningful experiences, and share your unique story with others. As Albert Einstein put it, "There comes a point in your life when you need to stop reading other people's books and write your own"

Whether you're eager to document your adventures, share valuable lessons, or highlight those who influenced you, taking that first step can feel intimidating. Here are some tips to help you embark on your memoir writing adventure.

Audrey Burt Saha, author of Living in Tandem: A Memoir About Being More than Just an Autism Mom

Find Your Purpose

Before diving into writing, consider why you want to create a memoir. Do you want to leave a legacy for your children? Share your life's adventures with others? Understanding this will shape your narrative. Reflect on the messages you wish to convey. Have you learned valuable lessons from your career or personal life? Perhaps you faced challenges, like moving to a new city or dealing with loss, that others can relate to. This clarity is essential. It not only motivates but also serves as a solid foundation for your memoir. The "Five Focus Questions" handout can be a good starting place.

Choose a Focus

Every memoir has a central focus or theme uniting the stories within it. This might revolve around a specific period, like your 20s when you traveled abroad, or maybe a transformative event, such as a health scare that changed your outlook on life. Identifying your focus will organize your thoughts and lend coherence to your writing, and will help you identify what is "in" and what is "out" of your book. For example, if your memoir focuses on healing through the arts, you could include photographs of sculptures or painting through your journey, as NextGen author Elizabeth Johnstone did in her book Loss within Waves, Navigating Grief and Trauma through Mindfulness, Art and Faith.

Create an Outline - if you like

With a clear purpose and theme in mind, some people choose to create an outline. This doesn't require extreme detail, but it will serve as a helpful roadmap. You could start by listing key events or milestones you intend to include. Organize these in chronological order or by significance. Think about pivotal moments, like overcoming a fear of public speaking that led you to start a community group. An outline keeps you focused and lets you visualize your memoir's structure, allowing you to track your progress as you complete each section.

However an outline is only useful if and as it serves you in the writing process. If you find your memories jump from time to time, and that you have writing ideas which do not exactly fit your anticipated outline: that's ok! Your job in the writing process is to write, not to organize the content - that can come later, with structural editing.

Set a Writing Schedule

Writing a memoir demands commitment. Establishing a writing schedule will help you stay organized. Decide how much time you can devote to writing each week—maybe 30 minutes each morning, or 1 hour on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Set specific, achievable goals, such as writing one page per session. If mornings enhance your creativity, embrace them. The key is to keep writing! As John Steinbeck put it, "Abandon the idea that you are ever going to finish. Lose track of the 400 pages and just write one page a day, it helps. Then when it gets finished, you are always surprised."

Write freely and don't edit - yet!

You may have a tendency to want to edit as you write. Yes, editing is and important part of the writing process - some may say the most important part. However you first need to start by getting your content from your head onto the page. When you start writing, let your thoughts flow naturally without stressing over grammar or structure. The initial draft is about getting your ideas down. For instance, if you recall a heartwarming moment of family reunions filled with laughter and love, just write it out. You can refine it later. Embrace the mix of joy, fear, and vulnerability in your life story. Readers appreciate authenticity, which creates a deeper connection and encourages empathy and understanding.

Don't go back and feel badly about your writing style, content, etc: keep moving forward to get a very rought first draft. Yes it will be rough: but a rough first draft moves you much closer to a finished book than a few well-edited pages!

Consider Your Audience

As you write, think about who you envision reading your memoir. Understanding your audience will help you speak more authentically and be more engaging. For example, for my book Book: Our Homes on Indigenous Lands | Nextgen Story: Custom Publishing, I thought of one specific cousin. By thinking of this cousin, I was able to emphasize content, themes, and even humour that would be relevant to them.

Also, writing to someone you know encourages you to write in a way that feels natural—rather than slipping into third-person textbook mode. Avoid imitating other authors; let your individuality shine. Your voice is your story's filter, making it unique and engaging. If you are often humorous, allow that to come through in your writing. If you tend toward the reflective, embrace that depth—it will resonate with your readers. Your readers want to hear from YOU, not a 3rd person omniscient narrator - !

Celebrate Your Journey

Writing a memoir is a significant journey. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Each word you write is a step toward sharing your story. Give yourself grace and take breaks if needed, as writing can be emotionally taxing. It’s essential to practice self-compassion throughout the process.

Keep on Moving

As I often shared in my courses, 81 percent of people say they want to write a book someday: only 11 percent end up finishing. The way to finish is to keep on working on your book: keep writing until you have a first draft, then (and only then!) move on to editing. One step at a time, the book will move forward.

If you are looking for motivation and connection in what can be a very isolating process: consider joining Connect and Grow. Groups start in January, April and September and are a great way to stay focused, motivated, and hear gentle and supportive feedback on your work.

As you document your life, you don't just preserve your memories—you inspire others. So, grab your pen or open your laptop and begin writing today. Your story is worth sharing!